Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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