that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
