adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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