Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
