Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
