You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
