I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize