dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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