i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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