I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
