the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize