i think i have two assholes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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