I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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