Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also, beer. Big fan.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
