I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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