Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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