I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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