Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
