I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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