sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
