I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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