a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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