it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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