i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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