in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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