no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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