You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
