so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
