You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
