Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
