Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
