Nicole vs. Life
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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