Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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