i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
