i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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