She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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