i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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