You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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