We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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