Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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