and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
