Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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