No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
