I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
