So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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