So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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