You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
