I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
