i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
