There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
