This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
