Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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