Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize