She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
