i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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