I seem to have left my pride at pride
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
